Getting Over Performance Anxiety
I dealt with getting over performance anxiety from the age of 19 - 22. I felt awful about myself and my bedroom performance during these years-at least with how things were happening sexually in the bedroom. I wanted to be able to overcome sexual anxiety and overcome performance anxiety but I did not know how to do it.
If you are feeling down in the dumps, it’s basically impossible to immediately “flick a switch” and begin feeling wonderful.
I was really expecting a bit too much of myself, thinking I could instantly and that I should instantly start feeling wonderful.
How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
If anxiety is holding you back, feeling slightly less awful is really all we can expect from ourselves. The great news is that in the long term, if you can focus on feeling less terrible about your bedroom performance, you will notice that you gradually begin feeling happier.
So how do you start feeling slightly less awful?
The secret lies in understanding why you feel the way you currently feel. Your habitual thought patterns create how you are feeling. That’s right, the type of thinking you do in turn creates the types of emotions you experience.
Most people (myself included not too long ago) believe that life events, circumstances and situations cause people to feel certain emotions. As an example, a lot of folks assume that a job promotion will make them feel more happy about themselves and their life. Or, most people would believe they feel sad because of their recent breakup.
However a job promotion won't make them feel happier, good and healthy thoughts about the job promotion will make them feel happier.
Feeling sad is not the result of a recent break up, negative thoughts about the recent breakup creates feelings of sadness.
Due to thoughts creating emotions, we can actually control how we feel if we can control how we think. If you want to overcome performance anxiety then understanding this is absolutely essential.
If this is not making sense to you then that is OK, I’d recommend re-reading the past few paragraphs until it begins to sink in.
If you understand and believe that your thinking creates your emotions, you can begin to think in ways that make you feel “slightly less awful” about your problems in the bedroom.
Gradually Change Your Thinking to Start Overcoming Performance Anxiety
One example is, you may find yourself later this afternoon thinking something like:
“My performance last night was terrible. What is wrong with me?”
The next time a damaging thought like this pops into your mind, take a moment right then to change your thinking. Don't dwell on your negative thought, try re-shaping your thought to something slightly less awful-such as:
“I admit that last night was no fun. Physically I am perfectly healthy, I just need to improve how I think about myself.”
This may not be the most positive thought in the entire universe, yet it's definitely a less damaging and negative thought.
Once you begin thinking slightly less terrible thoughts, you will notice that you feel slightly less terrible. It’s important to stick with this process at all times. It may be hard at the start, but with practice you will notice that this becomes much easier.
If you stick with re-framing your thoughts in a slightly less awful manner for the course of a few weeks or months, you will realize a much improved way in how you feel. Your performance anxiety will gradually go away with each improved and more positive thought.
When you feel happier, you will perform better in bed. Less anxiety means improved performance. Overcoming performance anxiety is absolutely something you can do without medication, I know because I actually did it myself!
If you are feeling down in the dumps, it’s basically impossible to immediately “flick a switch” and begin feeling wonderful.
I was really expecting a bit too much of myself, thinking I could instantly and that I should instantly start feeling wonderful.
How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
If anxiety is holding you back, feeling slightly less awful is really all we can expect from ourselves. The great news is that in the long term, if you can focus on feeling less terrible about your bedroom performance, you will notice that you gradually begin feeling happier.
So how do you start feeling slightly less awful?
The secret lies in understanding why you feel the way you currently feel. Your habitual thought patterns create how you are feeling. That’s right, the type of thinking you do in turn creates the types of emotions you experience.
Most people (myself included not too long ago) believe that life events, circumstances and situations cause people to feel certain emotions. As an example, a lot of folks assume that a job promotion will make them feel more happy about themselves and their life. Or, most people would believe they feel sad because of their recent breakup.
However a job promotion won't make them feel happier, good and healthy thoughts about the job promotion will make them feel happier.
Feeling sad is not the result of a recent break up, negative thoughts about the recent breakup creates feelings of sadness.
Due to thoughts creating emotions, we can actually control how we feel if we can control how we think. If you want to overcome performance anxiety then understanding this is absolutely essential.
If this is not making sense to you then that is OK, I’d recommend re-reading the past few paragraphs until it begins to sink in.
If you understand and believe that your thinking creates your emotions, you can begin to think in ways that make you feel “slightly less awful” about your problems in the bedroom.
Gradually Change Your Thinking to Start Overcoming Performance Anxiety
One example is, you may find yourself later this afternoon thinking something like:
“My performance last night was terrible. What is wrong with me?”
The next time a damaging thought like this pops into your mind, take a moment right then to change your thinking. Don't dwell on your negative thought, try re-shaping your thought to something slightly less awful-such as:
“I admit that last night was no fun. Physically I am perfectly healthy, I just need to improve how I think about myself.”
This may not be the most positive thought in the entire universe, yet it's definitely a less damaging and negative thought.
Once you begin thinking slightly less terrible thoughts, you will notice that you feel slightly less terrible. It’s important to stick with this process at all times. It may be hard at the start, but with practice you will notice that this becomes much easier.
If you stick with re-framing your thoughts in a slightly less awful manner for the course of a few weeks or months, you will realize a much improved way in how you feel. Your performance anxiety will gradually go away with each improved and more positive thought.
When you feel happier, you will perform better in bed. Less anxiety means improved performance. Overcoming performance anxiety is absolutely something you can do without medication, I know because I actually did it myself!